Pop the Pundit

Warning: this post contains political statements. If you agree with my dad’s politics, please stop reading because I’d hate to alienate you. I love my readers, no matter what their political preferences are. But you’ve got to admit that when my dad talks about politics, it’s pretty funny. I hope you enjoy his latest rants. I did. 

I called my dad about President Obama’s re-election. I waited until his right-wing radio personalities told him what to think about it, because I wanted him riled up. I was surprised at what he said.

He’s been telling us for months that things would get better after the election. I asked him outright, “So, what did you think of the election?”

“It looks like we’ll have more of the same, which is not too good,” he said.  “I was afraid that Obama would get in. There are so many people on the dole that get money for doing nothing. They look forward to it and they become enslaved to him. The immigrants come here and they don’t get jobs and they get money, for their families and all that. That’s where the money is being distributed. They don’t have jobs and they don’t hope to get jobs. They’re satisfied with the stipend they’re getting.”

So he’s saying that the 4.1 percent of the population that’s on welfare, plus the 7.8 percent of unemployed people (as of September 2012, I looked it up), managed to inflate itself to account for 51 percent of the vote. If they have those kinds of magic powers, we’re really under-utilizing these people.

Sadly, that’s all he had to say about the election. Maybe I should have called the day after it. But he was pretty pissed about CIA Director David Petraeus’ resignation upon admitting to an affair. “He was forced to resign,” he told me. “How come he resigned at this particular time?  They make it so rough on the guy they don’t have a job for him and they force him to resign. They say you were the CIA director but there’s no job for you there. How come he resigned using excuse he had an affair with a woman? He’s real old — what affair?” he ranted. Petraeus just turned 60. “He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just indiscriminate.” He worked for the CIA! “They’re all adults. They understand whats going on. His wife was married to him 37 years. He did a wonderful job beating back the opposition in the war. Words got exchanged that we don’t know about it’s an easy way out.”

I just want to point out that my father was dying to impeach former President Bill Clinton over his affair, and so were his right-wing radio buddies.

“Petraeus was an excellent man to get up against this guy who’s a hardball and thinks he’s king,” he continued. Umm, last time I checked, the President of the United States was the boss, yes. Maybe not king, but certainly boss.

“The head of General Electric is a good friend of Obama’s and last year, the company paid no taxes. If you have a friend behind the scenes, you get out of it. It’s unusual for these guys to go to jail. We’ll have to wait and see what happens,” he said. I asked my husband, the CPA candidate, about GE. He said that GE did indeed forego taxes, but it was a few years ago and it was because they claimed big losses, which is still perfectly legal. I wonder what my dad would have said if Donald Trump didn’t pay any taxes.

“The head of GE attended Obama’s wife’s birthday party where Jimmy Buffett sang,” he said. Wait a minute. You do not attack me on my own turf. As a dyed-in-the-colored-feathers Parrot Head, I either know or find out everything that Jimmy Buffett does. I’m not necessarily proud of it, but there it is. And I can assure you that Buffett never played at the White House. Do you know how all over that the Parrot Heads would have been if it were true?

My dad’s conclusion about the election was this: “I hope he changed his clothes and decided to do things the good way. He’s got all these crooks that guide him. They’re not out for the country. They’re out for themselves and their friends.” And who said that, Karl Rove? Really, that statement could have been made by someone on either side and it would be true, because that’s politics.

But I’m grateful for politics because it gives my dad something to rant about, and, as a result, something for me to write about. Next week, I’ll probably go back to posting about my family, unless my dad says something great this week. Here’s hoping!