There are lots of parenting moments that I’d love to forget, like the time my daughter was 18 months old and refused to take a nap. Tired, frustrated and counting on that nap, I yelled, yanked the pacifier out of her mouth and slammed her bedroom door. “You are the adult,” a friend said when I confessed. Well, I wasn’t that day.
Warning: this post contains political statements. If you agree with my dad’s politics, please stop reading because I’d hate to alienate you. I love my readers, no matter what their political preferences are. But you’ve got to admit that when my dad talks about politics, it’s pretty funny. I hope you enjoy his latest rants. I did.
He’s been telling us for months that things would get better after the election. I asked him outright, “So, what did you think of the election?”
“It looks like we’ll have more of the same, which is not too good,” he said. “I was afraid that Obama would get in. There are so many people on the dole that get money for doing nothing. They look forward to it and they become enslaved to him. The immigrants come here and they don’t get jobs and they get money, for their families and all that. That’s where the money is being distributed. They don’t have jobs and they don’t hope to get jobs. They’re satisfied with the stipend they’re getting.”
So he’s saying that the 4.1 percent of the population that’s on welfare, plus the 7.8 percent of unemployed people (as of September 2012, I looked it up), managed to inflate itself to account for 51 percent of the vote. If they have those kinds of magic powers, we’re really under-utilizing these people.
Sadly, that’s all he had to say about the election. Maybe I should have called the day after it. But he was pretty pissed about CIA Director David Petraeus’ resignation upon admitting to an affair. “He was forced to resign,” he told me. “How come he resigned at this particular time? They make it so rough on the guy they don’t have a job for him and they force him to resign. They say you were the CIA director but there’s no job for you there. How come he resigned using excuse he had an affair with a woman? He’s real old — what affair?” he ranted. Petraeus just turned 60. “He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just indiscriminate.” He worked for the CIA! “They’re all adults. They understand whats going on. His wife was married to him 37 years. He did a wonderful job beating back the opposition in the war. Words got exchanged that we don’t know about it’s an easy way out.”
I just want to point out that my father was dying to impeach former President Bill Clinton over his affair, and so were his right-wing radio buddies.
“Petraeus was an excellent man to get up against this guy who’s a hardball and thinks he’s king,” he continued. Umm, last time I checked, the President of the United States was the boss, yes. Maybe not king, but certainly boss.
“The head of General Electric is a good friend of Obama’s and last year, the company paid no taxes. If you have a friend behind the scenes, you get out of it. It’s unusual for these guys to go to jail. We’ll have to wait and see what happens,” he said. I asked my husband, the CPA candidate, about GE. He said that GE did indeed forego taxes, but it was a few years ago and it was because they claimed big losses, which is still perfectly legal. I wonder what my dad would have said if Donald Trump didn’t pay any taxes.
“The head of GE attended Obama’s wife’s birthday party where Jimmy Buffett sang,” he said. Wait a minute. You do not attack me on my own turf. As a dyed-in-the-colored-feathers Parrot Head, I either know or find out everything that Jimmy Buffett does. I’m not necessarily proud of it, but there it is. And I can assure you that Buffett never played at the White House. Do you know how all over that the Parrot Heads would have been if it were true?
My dad’s conclusion about the election was this: “I hope he changed his clothes and decided to do things the good way. He’s got all these crooks that guide him. They’re not out for the country. They’re out for themselves and their friends.” And who said that, Karl Rove? Really, that statement could have been made by someone on either side and it would be true, because that’s politics.
But I’m grateful for politics because it gives my dad something to rant about, and, as a result, something for me to write about. Next week, I’ll probably go back to posting about my family, unless my dad says something great this week. Here’s hoping!
My husband’s worried. He’s worried about the victims and the destruction of Hurricane Sandy. We have family and friends in New York and New Jersey and most of them came through the hurricane without a scrape. But one of our friends lost his house, many lost power, some are still without power, and there are all those people that we don’t know, but we’re pulling for them, trying to rebuild their lives.
My dad left my house two weeks ago, but his legacy lives on. While he was here, he slept 18 hours a day. In between naps, we’d have conversations – as long as he was alert. There’s no grand moral lesson in this post. I just know how much you like to read about my dad, so here he is!
Please imagine all of these conversations with us yelling and my father mumbling. He’s so deaf, you have to yell at him LIKE HE’S A FOREIGNER just to get him to understand you. So we yelled until our throats were sore. Early in his visit, I was putting my son down for an afternoon nap, and my dad mumbled, “She goes to bed this early?”
My Dad’s visit is over, but he left a legacy of misinformation and ridiculous arguments. Speaking of arguments, we
only had one argument the whole three days, mostly because I didn’t feel like baiting him. I know, why miss those golden opportunities? But he provided quite enough entertainment on his own. This week, I’ll focus on the argument.