25 Things that would never happen in Seattle

thumbs upYou’ve seen those “Only in New York, The Midwest, California” etc. posts, mostly on Facebook. Well, this is my “Never in Seattle” list. All items happened in Maryland and depict actual events and people. I use the term “Seattle” loosely as I lived in the ‘burbs.

Never in Seattle

  1. I conversed with a stranger for longer than 10 seconds.
  2. A cashier caught an error in my bill and went out of her way to fix it, smiling the whole time.
  3. We had an elaborate brunch with Santa for $15 a head AND kids ate free.
  4.  All the morning rain dried up by 11 a.m. WHEN THE SUN CAME OUT!!
  5. I swam in a public pool without the encroachment of Old-World Asian women doing water aerobics.
  6. That same pool did not have a warm spot that mysteriously aligned with an old man doing water aerobics.
  7. My daughter attended public, all-day kindergarten for FREE!
  8. We had five sunny days in a row IN DECEMBER!
  9. Two Walmart employees ¬†loaded a huge heavy gift into my car and I didn’t even have to ask.
  10. No one stepped in front of my car at Walmart.
  11. The PODS delivery driver made special arrangements with us for drop-off and pickup.
  12. Had dinner in a bar with two kids and nobody batted an eye.
  13. The band in the bar gave the kids a shout out when they were dancing.
  14. A woman at my daughter’s school shared a personal story 5 minutes after I met her.
  15. Supermarket employees offered to order anything that they didn’t stock.
  16. Well-dressed people outnumbered people in sweats.
  17. Trannies were not the only people wearing makeup.
  18. Met the neighbors on our first day in the house.
  19. The sun rose before we did.
  20. We still had an hour of daylight at 4:30 p.m.
  21. My husband hasn’t lost cell signal in the exurbs here like he did in downtown Seattle.
  22. No one had weird piercings or ear plugs.
  23. No one had “Duck Dynasty” beards.
  24. We got good barbecue.
  25. People knew how to drive in the rain.